# communication is a tool
Do you know that achieving goals is possible only in one way - with
people.
And all of us have one tool to impact other people; it is a
communication.
The main idea is achieving results with people.
Sometimes, it would be your goals, and sometimes you will be responsible
for goals of others, let's say if you are a manager in a company, you will be
responsible for many goals, set by someone else.
# with manual for use
It is believed that one with proper communication can achieve very best
results.
One with great talent but without communication skills won't succeed.
# and this tool is used for specific tasks
If you are a person who leads other people, all around you have
expectations from you, like: i) achieve results, ii) customers' satisfaction,
iii) a good relationship with people, iv) efficient business operations.
# but before starting to use, take some safety equipment with you
Believe in yourself and show it by attitude.
Believe in other people and communicate so.
Believe in purpose and inspire others.
Don't avoid leadership and management roles.
Don't passively indicate mistakes, errors or omissions (key is passive
into active).
# it is very important who is using a tool
We all have biological defect - being right is more important to us than
achieve a goal.
When we must sacrifice our ego, we don't let him easily, even if that
means failure in goal completion.
If we only could be little humble.
# don't presume that tool won't work
When we face some problem, or need to communicate with another person, we
presume many things.
We presume; they will attack me, they won't understand me.
In fact, 90% of our thoughts about future never come true.
# your tool have 4 modes, use them accordingly to have effective impact
We can group people in four categories.
Differentiation is made in two areas: focus and emotions: focus on result
versus people, and showing versus hiding emotions.
So, there are four colors of people: red, yellow, blue, and green.
And people in such categories behaves in predictable ways: impulsive
(yellow), analytically (blue), aggressive (red) or calmly (green).
Different people see world (or are blind on some things) in a way that is
most suitable to their way of thinking and behaving (ie. color).
# fine tune a tool
Every person sees a world in her/his unique way, with all experiences,
beliefs, fears, and expectations.
And that's the reason why people misunderstand each other.
Next time, when you say something, and see that other person react
unexpected (from your point of view), remember that this person differ from you
- they have different education, beliefs, knowledge, experience etc., and that
reaction is accordingly such a one.
# manage effects of tool
When people feel threat, they respond by one of three emotions: anger,
fear or sadness.
Most of the time, person operates on pilot and least of the time is
creative.
Threat switches pilot to creative state.
When fear is the cause, aggression is the result.
Being angry gives illusion of control over fear.
Being insecure, apologize very often or being quiet are behaviors lead by
our fear from rejection and fear from disappointing others.
Person who give ironical comments, or shows herself as a victim is a
person afraid of responsibility.
# use a tool with positive attitude
Use body language (~50%), voice properties (~40%) and words (~10%) to
build an attitude.
If your role is a leader in a company, behave with constructive,
respectful, secure, positive, motivational, clear and open attitude.
Are you conscious about your posture, your voice, your words - what other
see, what impression do I have on them.
# use tool to connect with a person
Meet another person, and build a relationship with them.
We like people who are like us, and other people like people who are like
them.
Give another person warmth and respect, and they will be interested to
hear our opinion and will trust us.
Connect with another person using attitude, syncronized movements,
similar words, experiences, in one word build a rapport.
# use a tool to encourage another person
Have an eye contact, focus on a person, smile, nod, paraphrase what you
have heard, listen.
Ask open questions to find specifics, look for essence.
Abandon using Why questions, instead use How come.
# with this tool you can tell your opinion too
Be clear, propose solution, don't attack others.
Set framework and prepare a person on what will be told.
Use construction: when you behave like ... I feel like ... because your
behaviour ... and I would like that ... happens.
Give feedbacks.
# use communication and impact world around you
Talk, write, behave and make impact on others.